Day 15: Let Your ‘No’ be ‘No’
Devotional
Among the seemingly obvious things, Jesus says, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’” (Matthew 5:37). It is straightforward, yet many people, including parents, fail to practice it consistently. As a consequence, we witness trouble — on domestic flights, in church hallways, and at restaurants — wherever children are testing whether the parents’ no really means no.
Consequences ensue when a parent says, “No, you may not . . . ” but the child delays, or fusses, or whines, or simply disobeys, and the parents bow to it. Understanding yes and no are profound prerequisites for experiencing and appreciating mercy and grace, and there’s nothing we want more for our children. Thoughts to think about:
Rewarded behavior becomes repeated behavior. When the child’s whining results in his getting what he wants, the parent has rewarded the whining. According to natural laws God has designed into the universe, rewarded behaviors are strengthened, not weakened.
Inconsistent words become mistrusted words. When a parent says no, but doesn’t enforce the no, the parent’s current and future words are compromised, if not altogether gutted of meaning. The child no longer knows for sure which words can be believed.
Subverted authority develops into disregarded authority. When the parents’ instructions are overruled by the child, a mutiny has occurred on the ship of the household.
Disregarding parental authority leads to disregarding spiritual authority. Failure to enforce your instructions as a parent teaches and models disregard for God’s instructions as Father.
A loving, consistent “no” will shape your children. If disobedience is not met with a prompt response each and every time, disobedience takes root and grows. Vigilance is the parent’s calling.
Let Your Loving “Yes” Be Frequent. I hasten to add that the word no is much more palatable when spoken and enforced by a parent who also often says yes.
-- Sam Crabtree, adapted from Parents, Let Your ‘No’ be ‘No’
Proverbs 29:15-27
15 A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom,
but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.
16 When the wicked thrive, so does sin,
but the righteous will see their downfall.
17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
they will bring you the delights you desire.
18 Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint;
but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.
19 Servants cannot be corrected by mere words;
though they understand, they will not respond.
20 Do you see someone who speaks in haste?
There is more hope for a fool than for them.
21 A servant pampered from youth
will turn out to be insolent.
22 An angry person stirs up conflict,
and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.
23 Pride brings a person low,
but the lowly in spirit gain honor.
24 The accomplices of thieves are their own enemies;
they are put under oath and dare not testify.
25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.
26 Many seek an audience with a ruler,
but it is from the Lord that one gets justice.
27 The righteous detest the dishonest;
the wicked detest the upright.
Application
Which of these six parenting statements challenge or convict you the most?
How does the discipline in Prov. 29:17 give peace and delight that a parent’s heart desires?